I'm a Model Now, Did You Know?

So, I forgot to mention a few aspects of my last weekend. You see, sometimes weird things happen to me. I'm not sure why, but it seems like weird, funny things sort of follow me around in my everyday life. I'm certain that if I took the time, I could tell multiple stories from my day of just straight-up weird crap that goes on.

Okay, so this last weekend...

I drew on myself. Why? Well, I was sitting in the 2 1/2 hour class where we do NOTHING. And the class right after that was Art History of Graphic Design (that's right), and I have a hard time staying awake. My solution? Make my hand/arm a canvas for creativity!

Okay, so you see that beast? Well, my arm looked like that on Friday, right before I went in to work. Did I wash it off before work? Heck no. That's sharpie, and I didn't feel like grinding off my skin to look "presentable." Plus, most of the people who work at Joe Sippers have tattoos and are all 'hippied out' anyway. I went with it.

EVERY customer had something to say about it. It was a myriad of comments and questions like, "Is that real?!" or "Is that henna?!" or "How bad did that hurt?!" or "That's awesome!"

One guy asked, in a rude voice, "What HAPPENED to your arm?"

To which I replied, with an unamused expression on my face, "I tripped."

Alright, so this one guy, probably in his 40s, comes up to the counter, and he says, "Hey, I love that design on your arm. Mind if I take a picture of it?" I was kind of flattered, so I said sure! I mean, that's cool, right?

He says he needs to go get his camera, and he leaves for a minute. When he comes back, he's toting this massive beast of a camera with a huge, professional lens.

Whoa.

He asks if we can step outside and take a picture against the outside brick wall. Sure, whatever, I think. So we step outside. Then, I ask him how to pose my arm...

This is where it gets weird.

He, totally nonchalant, is like, "Maybe like this?" And does this sexy-lean-against-the-wall-with-my-arm-and-chest-and-look-over-my-shoulder-like-a-seductress pose.

So... after a moment of hesitation, I do a modified version of his pose. Then he starts snapping pictures, and directing me.

I'm sorry, I didn't know this was a sexy photo shoot.

One of his posing directions that he gave me was... wait for it...

"Could you lift your boobs a little?"

Oh yeah.

Afterwards, he tells me that if I give him my e-mail he'll send me the pictures. Against my better judgment, I give it to him. I found out later that he's a photographer for pin-up magazines.

That put ALL the pieces together for me.

The next day he sent me the pictures... Check this out. This is just a couple versions of one of them, but... Okay... If this guy IS a photographer for a pin-up magazine, he's NOT the editor. I mean, just look at this!

Sexy, right? Okay, you might not be able to see it very well, but my eyes are a brilliant lime green (totally natural) and my skin and hair have no texture. I also was apparently wearing lipstick. Sometimes I just unconsciously apply stuff like that, you know.

I almost peed my pants laughing. And the background pattern? Pure sexy.

So, this is my life. Enjoy.